How to Fix a Broken Coffee Maker

(works for most machines)

1.) Place filter in filter basket.

2.) Put desired amount of coffee in filter.

3.) Put some water in coffee machine.

4.) Close appropriate lids.

5.) Place jug where the fucking jug goes.

6.) Press "Brew", "Make Coffee", "Go", or other large clearly marked button.

Coffee Machine, now, miraculously, will no longer be broken.